Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Three Blunts and a Bottle of Tequila Make Chicago Woman Superhuman, etc.

A woman in suburban Chicago was tasered eight times by local police during a domestic dispute with another woman, but didn't feel a thing because she was loaded. According to witnesses, the bionicwoman screamed out, "Uh-uh, I ain't goin' down like that!" (Or I could've imagined that in my head.)

In other news...

John McCain has the worst environmental record for 2007 than all 535 members of Congress AND has missed more votes than members who died mid-term according to the League of Conservation Voters. And he has jimmy leg and the gout, and bad breath(I may have made the last part up).

Lawrence Lessig is out of the race to fill representative Tom Lantos' spot after the Holocaust survivor and congressman passed away a few weeks ago. Let Congress' brain drain continue.

Wikileaks' Belgian site is still up, despite the fact that its US counterpart was taken down due to the posting of Swiss bank documents that were not of said banks' liking.

Don't make up fake Facebook profiles if you live in Morrocco: a man was sentenced to three years in prison for pretending to be Prince Moulay Rachid.
Bush-appointed bankruptcy judge Robert Somma has a thing for getting drunk in high heels and cocktail dresses.

Cindy Sheehan goes global with the protesting. You go, lady!


Tessa said...

MWHAHAHAH. I think I like your head narrative the best. I bet McCain totally DOES have bad breath. Why do people like him? He's a weird wee little man. If John Stewart is the man who make me want to have babies, McCain makes me want to...do something drastic with my uterus rather than have his baby.

amityb said...

John McCain makes me want to hang up my uterus and call it quits with the whole procreating thing if indeed my children must live in a world where a buffoon like him actually has a shot at the presidency.

amityb said...

Also, John McCain looks like the love child of Dr Evil and Steve Martin. And I heard he had crabs.