Thursday, April 01, 2010

Craigslist Fools' Day

The following two "estate sale" ads, found in the Bay Area craigslist, strike me as a hoax. But are they? Or is the first one actually legit? Who uses the the terms "wheretofore" or "thereof" nowadays, even if they do supposedly go by the name of "Bathseda Barrington"?

The first ad:

Fine estate sale, large record collection (Oracle, California)

Date: 2010-03-31, 10:37AM PDT
Reply to: [Errors when replying to ads?]

My name is Yserba Berrington. My father, Bathseda Berrington was an independent sales rep for small record companies in the 1950s. He amassed a fairly large collection into the thousands of the records he distributed and kept them carefully stored in our house in Brookdale Arizona, where they stayed until I moved here to Oracle, California in the 1970s.

My father always did things his own way and he left careful instructions for the accurate disposal of his belongings:

"On Easter Sunday of 2010, my last remaining child shall hold a reasonable sale of what remains of my worldly goods and possesions. Wheretofore I wish these possesions to be shared by the many, the terms of the sale shall be as portends:

The sale shall start promptly at 10:59 the morn thereof. The participants will walk around the house two times, then enter through the garage door. The pricing for my record collection is as follows: $0.25 for the first record, $1.00 for the 2nd record, $5.00 for the 3rd record, $10.00 for the 4th record. There shall be a 4 record limit per person per visit. Said person may return after walking around the house 2 times, and the same rules will apply again. I leave the world an assortment of unknown enchantment, music rarely heard, unique and kind. Please be respectful of my last remaining offspring and belongings. Bless You Kind Souls".

There also will be furniture, some photographs of oxen and pigeons father raised, as well as some various mementos of a life well lived, including his journey to the Saharan desert with Cecil Klein. The first 10 people to email will be given the address to this once in a lifetime event.

And the response: 

Regarding the Berrington Estate (Oracle, California)

Date: 2010-04-01, 8:09AM PDT
Reply to: [Errors when replying to ads?]

Regarding the estate of one Bathseda Berrington. I am Walegnacious Barrington III, fond brother of Bathseda Berrington. My niece Yserba is mentally ill and has not the authority or right to sell my late brothers records and artifacts- that is my responsibility as stated in Bathseda's real will. Yserba coaxed her father into signing a will of her making while in his last days- it can not contend in a court of said law.

Please do not patronize Yserba's sale- it will be in dire violation of my late brothers wishes and liability may extend to many in the wake of said event.

I alone am authorized to entertain offers for the correct fulfillment of the Berrington Trust for the Preservation of the Western Oxen. I may be contacted fortnightly and discerningly.

I apologize for Yserbas abberant behavior, and pray you can forgive her as I myself do.