Monday, February 18, 2008

Presidents' Day Pop Quiz

The following is a quiz on U.S. presidents based upon information compiled from "America (The Book)." I hope you like it:

1. According to Stephen Colbert, the following president was a "...worthless piece of shit. His presidency was a taint, not just in the sense of a 'stain in the office,' but literally a taint--the anatomical area between the anus and the testicles." Who was the flagophile referring to?

a. William McKinley
b. Rutherford B. Hayes
c. William G. Harding

2. Who was responsible for the following quote from 1830: "Listen, Chief Crybaby. You and your papooses will take the swampland, and you will like it"?

3. Who was our whitest president, tied only with Washington, Jefferson, Monroe, Madison, Jackson, and Van Buren?

4. Which president also served as Chief Justice and found that "beefsteak is delicious" in the case of U.S. v. Beefsteak, 1925?

5. Who was quoted as saying, "Put another brick in my hookah, Chow Ming, and fetch me fresh silks, I've soiled myself again"?

a. Franklin Pierce
b. Chester Arthur
c. James Polk

6. Which president's Farewell Address was entitled, "I only took this job for the poontang"? (Poontang in this case referring to a colonial delicacy consisting of the fermented juice of the rare poonberry tree).

7. Who was our gayest president? (Hint: when this president returned to the White House at the height of the "Gay Nineties" it was after defeating Benjamin Harrison in a debate with shrieks of "Oh, listen to her!")


1. William G. Harding

2. Andrew Jackson

3. George H.W. Bush

4. William Howard Taft

5. Franklin Pierce

6. George Washington

7. Grover Cleveland

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