Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Top Ten Worst Sunsets

Over the weekend I took _______(legal counsel has advised that I revise this statement) at a Schnitzel house and then went out for a night on the town. I highly recommend it. Although I do not recommend eating the hot German mustard. Everyone at my table did, and they kept saying, "Oh my god my brain is melting!" immediately drowning themselves in glass boots full of beer to ease the pain.

At some point my friend Andy K and I had a discussion. He was irritated that everyone was oohing and aahing the sunset earlier that day. He felt that sometimes the sunset is just not that great.

(Amendment: Sarah V claims that her distaste for sunsets pre-empted Andy K's. Geez you guys, is this really gonna be a great debate that I may never hear the end of? Typical.)

Here are my top 10 worst sunsets. Here you go Andy K AND Sarah V:

10. The autonomous community of Palma de Mallorca in the Balearic Islands, off the coast of Spain, has some seriously heinous sunsets. The man in this picture was having a perfectly mediocre day when all of a sudden...where'd the sun go? Why is this beach do dark and uninviting? Oh Christ where's my flask, he wonders.

9.This picture was taken in India. Himachal Pradesh, to be precise. Notice how gorgeous the Himalayas are here. Too bad the sunset had to take a big dump all over them. Yuck.

8. I'm not sure where this one came from, as it was found on some dude's blog--apparently he's got a sky fetish. I can only imagine this was shot from a greyhound bus in Centralia, Pennsylvania, just before the bloated vehicle was to sink below the earth into a perpetually burning coal mine.

7. Who cares where this sunset came from. It is uuu-gly! This sunset was not only beaten by the ugly stick; it plummeted from an ugly tree, repeatedly beaten by various ugly branches as it fell.

"Oooh, behold, I'm, like, the sun, and I'm just gonna hang here for a while and completely blind commuters as they shuffle through their miserable existence. Behold my power and majesty, I'm sooo awesome. "

And you wonder why people jump off the Golden Gate Bridge.

5. So underwhelming I'm at a loss for words.

4. I'm sure this is a lovely pier--in the daytime! The cold, purple pastel hues make this beach look like a cesspool of infectious disease. If I had a nickel for every sea lion that must have vomited off this pier each day when the sun went down...

3. This picture looks like something painter Mark Rothko took when he was in community college and took an intro to photography class, not sure if the whole "art thing" was really for him. Damn it's ugly.

Another blogging gentleman named Ted Taylor shot this one. Hey Ted Taylor, the sky called, and it wants its disgusting mauve manifestation back so it won't be exploited on the internets.

1. ..........(Drum roll please!)

The worst sunset ever was shot in the Manitoba province of Canada! Somewhere along Lake Winnipeg people are being blinded by the site of this monstrosity on a daily basis. Let's all have a moment of silence, and show compassion for their pain.


Sean Wraight said...

Great post amity.

People have little to no objectivity when it comes to the ubiquitous sunset photo. Good God, the phenomenon is equally bad
when it comes to baby or pet pictures. Perhaps that could be a future post

Well done!

Anonymous said...

lol. "the sky called and wants it's mauve manifestation back." --such an ugly time of day. so true.

amityb said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vix said...

Um.. what a fucking liar. I made up that idea. He just jumped out of the car on Van Ness. Please change your post. I would like to be credited

Vix said...