Show Me Your Caucus
Congrats to the contenders. Especially to you Barack Obama (Sigh. Cue cartoon hearts pumping inside an imaginary thought bubble coming from my head).
I think Obama's articulate n shit, but I do worry. I worry about him stepping to Huckabee. I hear that man's one dimpled, mean ass mamajama.
The Associated Press reported that the Republican front runner, upon hearing of his new win, jet over to a New Hampshire subway station, where he was caught rapping over the beat to N.W.A.'s "F**k tha Police" on a Casio keyboard:
"F**k tha Caucus
Comin’ straight from Des Moines town
Cracka got it good cause my votes ain't goin down
And I got dimples and so caucus think
They have the authority to kill a minority
F**k tha Romney, cause I am the one
To put punk mother f**ker Guiliani on the run
If I ain't the next Prez throw me in jail
We could go toe to toe in the middle of a cell
Fuckin with me cause I'm the Huckster
With a little bit of gold and a wife like a dumpster
You'd rather see me in the pen
Than me and Lorenzo rolling in the Benzo
Beat the caucus outta shape
And when I'm finished, bring the yellow tape."
Yikes. Huckabee is for real y'all.
*(Greg Dworkin, inventor of the APR series, is on vacation.)* *Alexandra Petri* at *The Washington Post* writes—*Sean Spicer is free!* The enchantment is...
1 hour ago