NYT Slam of Obama: A Response

So a few of my friends, ex-Hillary supporters, were really curious as to what my thoughts were on the 4th of July NYT editorial which claimed that Barack Obama is changing his tune on some social policy issues, effectively denying us the "change we can believe in."

And to this I say, oh ye wretched and cursed traitorous rag of filth and desperation! A curse upon ye and ye kind!

...no but seriously, this is the newspaper that singlehandedly served us false intelligence accounts of WMD in Iraq on a platter, shoving it in our face relentlessly: "EAT IT! EAT IT!" the media whores at the Times cried out until many of us gorged ourselves sick.

The two leading prostitutes that were in bed with Libby, Rove et al, who regurgitated the rubbish about WMDs, were Judith Miller (see above) and Michael Gordon. While Gordon still writes for the Times, Miller would later "step down" from her post at the Times, and fancied herself a first amendment martyr for refusing to tell a court who spilled the beans that Valerie Plame was a CIA agent. She spent 85 days in jail, even though she knew a year ahead of time that Libby would allow her to disavow any confidentiality agreements regarding the affair. Who's hero was she trying to be? A damned fine question. Another thing: Miller was one of a handful of media personalities sent fake anthrax in the mail right after 9/11, which spurred furious reportage on the imminent threat of bio-terrorism. Judy Miller: a fear-mongering class act!

What many people don't know, including wikipedia, is that Judith Miller has a huge vag. It was said that she could easily get down with Bush's entire cadre of male cabinet members in one night--sometimes she could take on three at a time. She even released a sex tape, where did I find it?...hey, let me search the Internets for a second...oh here it is. Late into the wee hours of the morning, Miller would then transcribe her interview notes, careful not to jot down the expletives her sources yelled at her in the heat of passion. Thankfully none of her WMD reports contained the words, "sexbeast" "slut" or "whoref**ker." --but there were many close calls.

Sometimes, if she didn't have to sleep with too many of her Bush clients and had an early night, she would eat cookies and baguettes in her bed spreadeagled as she carefully edited her glorious prose. In the morning, she would then rise and take a walk through Central Park on her way to work. All she had to do was unload the undergarments beneath her skirt and she could feed all the pigeons in Central Park AND Coney Island combined with the remnants carefully stored in that huge vag of hers.

--That is my rebuttal to the New York Times' story on Barack Obama. I mean, what am I supposed to say? The editorial was correct, his shifting stances towards the middle are hard to stomach for progressives like myself, but really, I never believed he would change the way values voters choose candidates. And I never thought that he was an ultimate constitutional crusader or "unreasonable man" like Ralph Nader. There's a reason why Nader's unelectable. Obama's playing the game and doing it well. Hillary would be doing the same thing if she got the nomination.

The NYT has a lot of Obama bad-mouthing to do to balance out all the flack they've been giving McCain by foolishly digging up outdated stories about improper relations with lobbyists. So this is probably just the beginning of some of that. It's a political move on the Times' part. So what, nothing new for them.

But I have been down about Obama, and just I wish that he could manage to drum up the same amount of support without kissing conservative, religious right ass.

One of my favorite bloggers, Historiann, put it this way:

Hi Amity–I’m sorry that Obama has been a disappointment. Can I say, like Bill Clinton, “I feel your pain!” And I hope you conquer the hangover soon.

Obama’s not a hypocrite, at least not by pol standards. He’s just a pol–that’s what they do, so don’t get too angry or down on yourself. It’s like being angry with a cat for licking hir butt–that’s just what cats do. A lot. So, remember: try not to kiss pols or cats on the lips, or share a popsicle with them.