Life's Enduring Questions

Over the course of my 29 years on this planet, only a few burning questions have lingeringly floated through the echo chambers of my mind--as a youth and adult--and left me without answers: Was the untimely death of Marilyn Monroe really a suicide? Are alien spacecrafts currently held in Area 51? Was my hometown built on top of a series of Native American burial grounds and therefore a good number of homes remain haunted?

Today, I have discovered the answer to one of (my) life's great mysteries. The rumors that the popular 1995 Alanis Morrisette song, "You Oughta Know," was inspired by Dave Coulier, aka "Uncle Joey" on Full House, are actually true.

The Calgary Herald recently unleashed a Dave Coulier exclusive:

He says he was driving when he first heard the tune.

"I said, 'Wow, this girl is angry.' And then I said, 'Oh man, I think it's Alanis,'" Coulier tells the Calgary Herald. "I listened to the song over and over again, and I said, 'I think I have really hurt this person.'"

Inundated with press calls, he says he tried to get a hold of her — and eventually got through.

"I said, 'Hi. Uh, what do you want me to say?'" he recalls. "And she said, 'You can say whatever you want.'"

Eventually, he says, "we saw each other and hung out for an entire day. And it was beautiful. It was one of those things where it was kind of like, 'We're good.'"

Let's recap some of the lyrics shall we?

An older version of me
Is she perverted like me
Would she go down on you in a theater


Or how about:

'Cause the joke that you laid on the bed that was me
And I'm not gonna fade As soon as you close your eyes
And you know it
And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back I hope you feel it
Well can you feel it?

Let's all let out a collective, "Eeeeeew Uncle Joey....grrrossss."