Tuesday, August 21, 2007

MY HIGH SCHOOL REUNION

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A shot from Lisa W's sweet sixteen. There's nothing more foul in all the world than rich white teenagers receiving new cars with bows on top.

My reunion was crap. There, I said it. Completely anti-climactic, a super-low turnout of under 70 for a class of 300+, and a recent tragedy less than one week prior which saw our "Most Friendliest" as a meat cleaver-wielding child killer didn't help matters. All this made for a sad event indeed.

However, I did get to see about five or so awesome folks that have actually maintained their awesome tendencies, if not completely expanded upon them. And I stole a time capsule from a girl in my class that was appallingly snobby in high school. And it had some really intimate collectibles. And they were LOLADOF funny ("Laugh Out Loud And Dying On Floor" for those not hip with the new lingo). This girl didn't make it to the reunion, and since I never made my own time capsule, I rejoiced at living vicariously through Lisa W.'s.

Lisa W. was on the dance team with me. She had dark brown hair past her ass and was extremely lanky with stalky green bean legs. I never counted her as one of the more intimidating beauties in our school, especially since she had a speech impediment which made it difficult for her to pronounce her R's, replacing them W's. She thought she was a real gem though, that's for sure. And judging from the suitors that passed notes to her in class, a bit of a "woman of the night". One of them, who we'll refer to as "J", was a friend of mine, and made an annual event out of asking me out. I, in return, made it an annual event to flatly reject him. But Lisa W. dated him, and boy was that ever a train wreck. After Lisa brutally dumped him, he wrote this note to her in class:

Though time may pass a thousand shadows, the only scene I feel is your touch through the looking glass...I'll see you again when time permits the fate of young love. That day I love you and farewell.


Later, when "J" still can't move on, and Lisa W has a new boy toy, he writes:

Lisa, you're the best damn tease in the nation's powerhouse.

She responds:

Ya tease to please, not please to tease. Do it right or not at all.


What that means I may never know. I certainly didn't know it in high school, maybe that's why my dating life was so nonexistent as a youth.

The best was the letter she wrote to herself though:

Dear Me (Lisa),
I wanted to write a letter to myself so that in 10yrs I can remember what I was like...I hope that when I read this in 10yrs Ames and Shans will still be my friends. Amy is the goofy one, she reminds me of Phoebe on "Friends"...Luke calls me "chicken legs" cuz I'm so skinny. I don't think that but oh well...Well I have finally gotten into modeling and now I'm just waiting to hear from agents. I'm working at Contempo Casuals and I love the beach. I hope that in 10yrs I have a house on the beach or near it w/horses... Being 17 is so fun, no responsibilities, but when I'm 27 I will be reading this. That's pretty scary. "Smile its the second best thing for your lips, the first is chapstick." Well I best be on my way--oh and one more thing. No matter how hard mom tries, my room is never clean.
Love always, Lisa Class '97'


Oh Lisa, thank you for deep insights on...chapstick.

9 comments:

Linda said...

Oh god thanks for alerting me to this post. Many comments. But first: You were on DANCE TEAM?

amityb said...

Yeah, I didn't have to take PE that way, and the teacher was a real mental patient, in a good way--I remember warming up to Prince and "White Lines". It was rad.

Hip E. said...

That is diabolical. They had you make time capsules senior year to be opened at your reunion? Wow. I doubt that in her wildest dreams Lisa could have imagined the danger she was putting herself in. They just put them out on a table and did it on the honor system?? I'm amazed. This could be the basis of a dumb romantic comedy, possibly starring Jimmy Fallon, Freddy Princze Jr., or Drew Barrymore (again).

jsmom said...

Amity you are AWESOME! I really wish I would have been there to see it myself. Do you still have it?

amityb said...

No YOU'RE awesome, whoever jsmom is. I still have the time capsule, not quite sure what to do with it...

And yeah, hip e., I totally agree about how irresponsible it was on behalf of the reunion committee to just leave the stupid things out. Over half the people at the reunion were pissed that they didn't even know about the time capsule so didn't have anything to pick up. Apparently, the capsules were made on senior ditch day, therefore only losers made them. One girl at the reunion was so bitter she didn't have one, that she stole five!

And yes, get Seth Rogen on the line, I'm sure he could make a classy, tasteful romcom about it.

Linda said...

Oh hey Hip E welcome to Amity's blog.

Hip E and Amity, what would you each put in your capsules, theoretically and actually (respectively)?

amityb said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kelly said...

Amity, I live with Bridget C and I went to high school with you. She just sent me the link to your blog. I think you made the best choice, of all the douchebags we went to school with, of who's time capsule to nab! "Chicken Legs!" Only she could look back fondly on high school harassment.

amityb said...

Is this Kelly D sister to Tracey D? Yeah glad you enjoyed the post and thanks for the comment!